Minds of Cardboard

It was about two years ago, I think, when this metaphor came to mind. And I’m blogging this for me really. As a record of sorts and maybe being conceited enough to suppose that this can help some people. Not really because I expect it to be news but because sometimes when it’s written down it’s just easier to understand. Also, I’m sure I’ve mentioned this before, but for the purpose of setting it all out in a way I like, I’m joining it in one blogpost.
People are animals. Some of you are going ‘duh’ but it’s not so duh. Look around you. Do you live like every other animal does? Think about all the things humans do and have done. The kettle. The wars. The governments and lies and festivals and nail polish removers and mascara and scissors and engines and round CDs which can produce music and little pen drives which carry secrets and words. We are fucking amazing. It’s hard to grasp that computers don’t simply exist, but that they evolved from the minds of creatures who used to hunt Mammoths with stone spears. That we have a periodic table and that we dye our hair.
But still...we are animals. And animals need so survive, and that’s what most of us aim for. And what is one of the basic rules of survival? Knowing when to fight or flee. Knowing when something is a friend or a foe. But of course, we are pretty pathetic in the sensing department. We can’t see properly most of the time, we can’t smell for shit, and our nails and teeth couldn’t kill a puppy. So we have devised another mechanism of differentiation; judging humans on human standards. When we meet someone we can’t help but have to classify them. It is a necessity of survival. And we may think we are very complex, and we do have more classifications, but we still have them as rigid as any other animal.
This I call ‘boxes’.
To put simple examples, there are common labels like ‘chav’, ‘goth’, ‘geek’, ‘gay’, ‘preppy’, ‘teacher’, ‘student’, ‘emo’...the list is endless. We have all done it, we all do it. I can’t tell you the amount of times my friends have played that stupid ‘chav game’ which I hate. I remember a person once asked Rachel if she hung out in cemeteries because she liked gothic clothes and rock music. O_o
But we always have to make things more complicated because if we just stuck people in boxes and left them there, the act wouldn’t be so dangerous. But the fact is that every box is heavy and burdened by strings- the strings of rules and regulations. Of expectations, or rumours, or standards.
To make an example, the first time I thought this up was when a girl told me she had made out with another girl several times. A natural reaction, I think, would be to classify the person as a lesbian or at least bisexual. You would think that at least technically that’s just what it would be. And homosexuality may not seem as outrageous because of TV and media today but it still really is. If you were homosexual and came out in your school, and everybody knew it, would it be the same, really? Do you think people wouldn’t talk about you or bully you at all? They would, because kissing someone of the same sex has the box named ‘homosexual’ and homosexual has the strings of; forbidden, against the church, against reproduction, supposedly the cause of Aids, etc. etc. Or maybe just because Bandura was right and we only learn through models.
But the fact with my case was that that particular friend simply loved the other same-sexed friend so much that she felt comfortable doing it. She didn’t find the thought of female bodies attractive or appealing. It was just one particular type of love.
With this I’m trying to show how commonly, and I’m no exception to the rule really, people put one person in one specific box and that’s it. That’s what they are. They are no longer ‘Tony the human.’ They are ‘Tony the emo’ or ‘Tony the rocker’ or even ‘Tony the bitch’. When you meet someone and you think they are mean, how do you know they’re not having a bad day, or are trying to protect themselves, or one of the other million reasons people have to lash out? When people say ‘oh I hate chavs’, or ‘oh I hate teachers’, do they realise what they are saying? Hate is a strong word and to classify a whole range of people with so many other traits, stuff them in one box, and hate them all...it’s ridiculous.
Let’s make this a little harder. What if two brothers loved each other in an ‘unconventional’ way and had sex? I made them both of the same sex so the excuse of deformed babies cannot come up. Now, how do you feel about it? And why do you feel that way? What are the reasons? OR a 43 year old woman that loves (in an unconventional way) a ten year old boy. Now, she does not touch this little boy. I believe love is wanting to protect that other person until you are willing to risk anything for them. What if this woman loved the boy but only protects him? Is that love wrong despite the fact that she is, in her mind, a paedophile? And if so (and I’m not taking sides) how so?
For me, ultimate wisdom would be to accept people as complete individuals. To drop all the boxes. All of them. If a teacher and a student hang out- nobody would think of it twice until initiative to do so because it would be two humans hanging out. If two girls kiss, it will be natural because it will be two humans kissing. If a person loves another person it would be good, because love is good- and lust is a completely different matter. Muslims are not terrorists, German are not Nazis, people who dress in black aren’t depressed Goths, emotionally unstable people don’t always resort to cutting themselves. And on and on and on.
So the next time you meet someone, try to keep an open mind. This is a person. Not a box. They act the way they do because of certain reasons which you don’t know about, and should therefore nor assume the results of. Before judging someone, know them. Not just the first layer.
I know it’s easier said than done, and that the boxes are there for a reason...but give your cardboard mind a rest from time to time. Maybe this will give you the chance to see how special some people can really be.