In remembrance of a stranger

Today, in Jersey, there was a funeral.

I don’t know who it was held for. I didn’t ask for the name because I felt it was irrelevant. I have never met him, will never meet him or talk to him or love him or see him laugh, talk, sing, dance, cry, shout, run, walk, see, hear, eat, breathe, touch, enjoy, suffer...
Live.
(again)
Is that sad? I don’t feel sad at the concept. I didn’t feel sad when someone close to me died either. I wasn’t sad when I was told someone I love very, very much had cancer. I felt...stillness, but not sadness. It wasn’t that I was cold, or that I was distanced. I simply felt that mourning would be...
I have a certain way of thinking; good things are worth it even if they end. Even if they end horribly. My loved one’s life was something to be joyful about, even if it would end painfully.
I’ve met people who don’t agree. And I’ve met even more people who agree by word but not by action.
jump
I’m not talking about death, now. I’m talking about living. About doing things. Now.
Now.
One action which has the potential to make you happy, or someone happy, can have a thousand shortcomings. A million, tiny, insignificant ‘what ifs’ that hold you back because
YOU ARE SCARED
That you will make a fool of yourself, or it will end badly, or, or, or, or, or.....
I am conscious that, obviously, everybody shouldn’t simply do the first thing that comes into their mind regardless of other people’s emotions and situations.
I’m talking about moments when all that is holding you back is social norms, or rules, or opinions, or laziness, or, or.
Telling someone you love them, for example.
Catching up to someone you haven’t heard of in a long time.
Telling someone you don’t love them.
Lying. Not lying.
I guess, however, if you have never been or seen someone in such a situation (and I highly, highly doubt that), where an action is delayed or cancelled because of fear, you can’t really understand what I’m talking about. But for those who have, or will be...
I am telling you to do whatever you have to do it now. And when I say now I mean RIGHT NOW. Don’t finish reading this post. Just do it for God’s sake just do it nownownownownow.

I dare you to take the plunge. To be happy.

Dare

The boy who died, who was remembered today, and will be remembered tomorrow, and for the rest of our lives, may have expired so many opportunities. Did you know him? Were you supposed to tell him something, and didn’t, should have, can’t?
Can’t?
And I can write about this, and I can post this and talk to a friend and laugh carelessly whilst there are people who’s souls are chanting will self-destruct in.... because it is killing them inside, to have lost him. How many parents, lovers, friends, familiars, are, right now, unable to smile or even think, breathe, be because of loss?
Inevitably, that will be us, one day. And, inevitably, we will leave that behind as well.
And it’s ok.
It’s ok because we have been here, are here now, breathing, and living, and well, wasting all these opportunities that we shouldn’t be wasting.
What I’m trying to say here is that the fact that we are going to die shouldn’t scare us (I’m serious), and shouldn’t even be forgotten. It should give some fucking meaning to all of this, spur us forward into daring, no matter how hard is seems to break free from all the ties.
So I’m telling you again, is whatever holding you back worth it? Worth being on your death bed, or beside that person’s death bed and thinking...
Why didn’t I do it?
Why didn't I do it?