Yesterday someone said the saddest thing I have ever heard.
We were talking about insanity, about being sad, being tired. About how much things mattered, or didn’t. About giving up.
‘I think I’m fine,’ they said.
‘But what’s fine?’ I asked. ‘Isn’t fine happy? Happy all the time and not just sometimes?’
But my friend replied,
‘Fine is not dead.’
I stopped and stared and felt something give in. I felt like screaming.
‘...Is fine happy?’ they asked. Like they had never known.
Maybe you won’t understand why this affected me this much. Why when I read over msn ‘fine is not dead’ I felt...heart-broken, if a cliché can actually describe this...this lack of hope.
Fine is not dead...
How do we reach that point? When good isn’t happy, when it can be pain and anguish and sorrow, as long as you’re not dead.
And sometimes not even then.
2 comments:
Hmmm...I think you just realised that your fate is sealed...you are going to die, that happens to me all the time. I don't think it has to do with the definition of "fine". "Fine" clearly means nor here nor there, somewhere in between where someone is neither sad nor ecstatic. That's how i see it anyway. Or maybe that's just a common use for the phrase: "yeah, i'm fine you?"
no..what he said didn't really have anything to do with death itself, or with dying... the sad thing is that life is not much better than it...
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