this is pure rant

Hey everybody!
Was just watching ‘five awesome guys’, which is strange cause I don’t usually go on youtube if it’s not for music but now that I think about it it stemmed from music-watching. Also, fell in love with this conductor. I was amazed by him, I got tingles all over my body. It was magic, it literally way. The look of awe on his face, of pleasure, the way he conducted with his whole body, his whole expression.
But back to the point: five awesome guys. Are awesome. Loved the idea of 5 strangers just posting a video one day a week each (mon-fri, get it?) and just getting to know each other really well in a short period of time and they were talking about how friends online are made really quickly really intimately because you can get to know them first. You can read their blog and see their youtube videos and it’s different from the real world. And sometimes that annoys me, because it seems cowardly, to say things between screens and not face to face. To not be able to just be strange and sudden and intimate with strangers. Actually, I’m just generally disgruntled with the real world at the moment. And I hate going emo on you guys but it seriously is just pissing me off. And what else am I going to talk about but acceptance? Ok I’ve started ranting now, I can’t stop:
What is the deal with not accepting people that are different than them? The more I think about it the more it seems utterly ridiculous to me. Are different people frightening? No. You know what it is? It just came to me- it’s about barriers. When differences occur, people either perceive or build barriers out of those differences. For example, today Steph went with us to Lucy’s flat for Lucy’s birthday party but didn’t want to go to Oceana (club) because she just didn’t feel like it. And she was insisting on the fact that she was shattered, and she looked obviously uncomfortable when people persisted otherwise but still most of the gang was like ‘come on steph, come on, you’ll enjoy yourself in the end’. And ok I get it; she’s our friend, we want to spend time with her but...peer pressuring her into going out when she clearly doesn’t want to is not the way to be a good friend. And if, for example, steph continued to not want to go out clubbing then instead of getting around it by going to cafes or to the cinema or talking in lectures and over msn, people would decide that the barrier of her not going out with us would be too big to be proper friends with her. Which is just plain wrong. And then at the end of the night I went out of the dance floor to make a call with a friend and she went to the toilet and I was utterly stunned when she came back with tears in her eyes. I asked her what was wrong, thinking it was because she had to go home alone and didn’t want to and so obviously I insisted that it would be fine to go with her but she said it wasn’t that. She looked at me and asked me ‘Why do I always have to be the first one to go home?” and I was just floored. I knew where she was coming from; ideas that, what, she was the boring one? The, the what? Just fucking no, you know? It’s wrong that how society is has made people with such basic differences be made to feel less than what they are because of it. Just no. Be what you want to be. Be what you like. God I’m just by pure coincidence listening to this song that fits well with what I’m saying. I wish I could make people understand that...they are going to die some day and that life is all they have got. Death is nothing- it’s the end of things. Not anything to be fixated about; it’s gonna happen, that’s it. Just make the most of your life. LIVE IT. live it being you, not what other people want you to be.
And...well yeah, urgh this post is going absolutely nowhere it hasn’t been before.
I suck.
But anyway! Can we drop the emo and talk about something happy now? Yes ok: I’m going to steal my dad’s camera at Christmas, and my new year’s resolutions (along with other things which none of you can know about, ha!) is gonna be to take it with me EVERYWHERE and capture stuff. I’ve changed quite a bit with uni in the respect that I am A LOT more confident. I’m not sure if any of my friends know this (my family do cause they rock!!) but I haaaated meeting new people. And not like generally disliked it, I honestly hated it. I didn’t know how to do it and considering how much I have moved school that is quite a problem. But I always felt that I had met enough people- that I had been forced into the meeting-new-people situation enough times. But not now! I’m one of those people that talk to strangers easily and about everything now and it ROCKS!!! People always look at me with surprise but then generally pleasure as well at being so unexpectedly engaged in a conversation.
Right so the point of that was that I’m gonna take my camera and if I meet a person I really like the look of on the street I’m gonna ask if I can take their picture. Yes I totally am! I’ve thought about it and came to the conclusion that if they ever said ok (pressured by it) I would remedy the following posing awkwardness in the picture by making them talk about love or/and death. What I’m gonna do is say “are you in love?” and if they say yes I’m gonna ask them to think about the little things they like best about the other person. To just imagine them, like how he kisses your jaw-line instead of your cheek, or the way his hand lingers in your hair or the way she really listens instead of just waiting for a turn to speak, the way she hold your hand and brushes her thumb over your skin.
And just as they think about those little things I would snap a picture of their face and it will be wonderful. Can you all please tell me how utterly rockage this idea is? Because it is. Strangers rule. Except the creepy ones which leer. Leering is a big no-no people! Oh but I got a really nice look from a guy in a shop the other day. I went to Tesco with Zoe and I was asking her if she didn’t have like weird OCD things she had to do and she said no and as we were paying I was saying “yeah like me, before I go to bed I have to finish listening to the song that’s on in full, I can’t cut it off or I’ll feel really weird. I won’t go completely off but something inside just...” and I could tell the tesco guy was looking at me so I looked up and he had this really nice...interested and understanding look. So yes, conclusion: strangers are good as long as they are not leering.
ALSO! I saw someone walking down the road naked today! Teenager with his friends at night (no children) so creepiness factor was out. It was very funny because I was just thinking about how I’ve had nightmares about that- you know, walking down the street and then suddenly realising I’m only in my panties. LOL. The guy had a tattoo on his ass. Just in case you wanted to know! Really wished I had my camera though, it was SUCH a facebook moment!
And no, guys, I did not look at his penis. Just cause I know you’re thinking it because you are all perverts.
Also I had to jump down a wall and destroy my knees and feet and knock on Kento’s window at like 2 30 because I had forgotten my keys. Funny though cause I scared the shit out of him. He rocks! I send bloglovewaves to Kento. (He is obviously one of my flat mates, guys).
Woah this is long. It’s because I’m hyper. I love being hyper its a million times better than being drunk. I was hyper at Lucy’s and Val was just pissing herself saying she ‘wanted to see more of this Marina!’ and I realised that I was being quite myself! All loud and jokey and just plain- well you all know what I mean when I get like that. Also in Oceana (which is utter piss! Nicole and I vowed never to go back there unless under obligation. The music was suckage except for the end when we re-entered the disco bit and then it was quite good. They played Queen and I was like FRRREEEDDDIIIEEE and also they played YMCA and I was like CCEECCIILL. Oops am I still in the parenthesis? Closing this now...) As I was saying, in Oceana they were playing ‘ready to rumble’ and I swear I was going crazy, Nicole was like WTF!!!?? Cause I was like RRREEEAADDDYY TOOO RUMMBBLLLEEE.
Lol and this blog has transcended into topics which you guys really don't give a shit about. But it’s seven in the fucking morning oh my god.
ALSO! I went to bed at nine the other day. PM!! Yes my friends, you have heard me right. Burnout. I danced in my room for a bit (I do that a lot. And can freely admit it...obviously. It’s fun! Sex on Fire officially rocks.) and then took a shower and then sat in front of my computer and thought “essay due in two days. Must do.” But...yeah it wasn’t happening, so I went to bed (took me hours to get to sleep but ah wells) then slept really badly (I dream A LOT here. Or, if you’re being pedantic, I remember a lot of dreams here. A lot. A lot a lot. Like, almost every night. It’s confusing. Having a lot of dreams with a black puppy in it. In the last it died and so did my brother and I felt very sick because it was my fault.) and then woke up at seven, having 5 hours until my lecture so that I could spent around 3 on the essay in the morning but of course as it happens, just when I had to get up I suddenly fell asleep with no trouble and slept until nine in the morning. (internal clock wakes me up at 9 30 every day now it sucks.) so yeah I was in bed for 12 hours. Not normal. Not normal at all. And now I have a lab report due on Thursday. Oh but guys! I got a 65 on my last one! Yessssss! I’m so happy about that. Got 48 for my first, then only 52 for my second and then it suddenly jumped to 65 (and 70 is a first so- yay). I did no secondary reading cause I thought it wasn’t necessary for lab reports so all I have to do it that and maybe I will get a first for my next one! Woop!
Why am I still talking? Ok I am stopping now.
Will update later maybe with some music. To make up for these failure of this postage.
I love you all, I really just do.
ALSO!...ok no I should stop now. It’s eight now, got distracted msning with Nicole. I really like her, she would beat scissors every time, she would.
Right, this blog is now longer than what an essay is supposed to be.
That is SICK.
For those who have actually read all of this- you are so much better that those who didn’t. And going back and reading it now is cheating, you already suck.
So HA!
Also I’m gonna do another meme soon. Maybe another 15 things I like because u can never get enough liking. Or Lyle’s uni one.
Oh my God Marina stop typi-