time is contagious

Helluh!
I am cold! Because when I said I didn’t have internet what I ACTUALLY meant was that I didn’t have internet in the house and actually preferred going without it than being outside club Nintendo whilst freezing my ass off. But I’m out here with my Sister so she can see Hellsing and skimmed through the blogs and saw Lyle’s and obviously had to write one of my own cause his was rockage. And not just cause he mentioned me ;)
Christmas Eve was strange this year. People missing and stuff...in more ways than one. No Christmas Miracle for this family, not even close, but we can manage without it. Here comes a new year guys, this one is going to be better, cause we’re gonna make it better.
Tomorrow is the super cool Bas tradition to go swimming in the sea the last day of the year! You have to go underwater 3 times minimum to make it count. It’s always my brother, little doggy, me, my uncle, my dad and the ghost of my aunt and her silver scar in the headache cold water. My mum sits on the shore, looking at us, half amused and half as if she thinks we are totally insane.
Which we are.
And it is always so much damn fun. I’ve never given a metaphor to the act (like cleansing ourselves, hehe sounds too pure) and don’t really want to. It’s just...what it is. A piece of good luck, maybe, to last another twelve months. And if it doesn’t work then, oh well, let the salt taste better next time.
But yes, I have officially stolen my Dad’s camera and have taken quite a lot of pictures. I’ll put them up on facebook just because it’s so damn easy to upload them there though I should get a new place to do that. The first day we were here we all (Sara,Paloma,Guille,Laura,Me,thedogs) went to a field opposite the farm and ran and jumped and crazed about like the wild animals we are. The sunlight was everywhere, everywhere; on the leaves and melting across the horizon and in our eyes. And it was so funny when we all perched on a tree and started humming the Zelda theme tune and laughed about how we had grown up and still we were climbing trees and singing about elves and adventures.
And it’s nice when you can say some things never change and actually mean it.
At night we totally geeked out by playing Mario Kart using the Miis of Harry Potter and Voldemort we had created last summer. Though the best was using them in Wii tennis and watching Voldemort’s psycho smile.
And yesterday we had another blow-me-away moment. We all sat outside where the internet could reach us, sat in the cold, in the shadows. Huddled into ourselves as Sara showed us a song which was...raw. I listened to it, looking at the stormy night sky and oh my God what a song. Not something to just listen to whilst walking or working, no way. This song was explosive. When it finished there was a pause of silence and we said what we thought, calmly, because Sara had put herself on the line by showing us something that had impacted her so much (she cried the first time she heard it). And I closed my eyes and said something like,
“It’s like...” my voice shuddered over the silence, “as if the song is everything that is past, as if it comes from somewhere that has seen everything humans have done and can do nothing but cry. It...It sounds like the sound the earth would make after it witnesses a war. Not the violent sounds of the actual war but...In the Battle of the Somme. It sounds like the crying echo the land where it took place would leave behind if we could listen to it.”
And it was the greatest sensation to have Sara look at me and say “That’s just it. Like the earth, its the earth this song comes from. I had felt it, but didn’t know how to put it into words. That was perfect.”
Ah the Shiver feeling. When you know something is so much bigger than you and at the same time....a mere detail.
But yeah, I’m not actually going to say what song it is cause...showing it would be like showing a piece of myself because...when something makes such an impact on you it’s like it melts into you, becomes part of the person you are slowly creating. And so throughout life you are slowly picking pieces up, fitting them together, until you are some sort of strange abstract art. Beautiful and incomprehensible at the same time.
Anyway! This new year is going to rock. I shall tell you a secret and say something in me is afraid when I say that too loudly (touchwood) but I don’t care! Make your own happiness, I say.
Well, the first month of the year is going to start off with (let’s ignore the exams, my friends!) seeing Edward Scissorhands onstage! Fuck yes! Then getting a fucking job and savingsavingsaving. Having super lots of fun i school time despite that and then in June going to Glastonbury. Then having an amazingly long and fantastic Summer and in it Sara, Little Doggy, my brother and yours truly are gonna pack a couple of sleeping bags, the camera, some tinned food, some music, fit it all in a car and just leave. Just us four and whatever we want. We are gonna rough it and be as fucking crazy as possible. Sneak into hotel’s or residence’s pools to shower. Scavenging food or playing (guitar) for money. Stealing vegetables from fields and seeing the sights. Not really planned, not knowing what the fuck is going on. We are going to get lost and wilder and tired until our laughs turn hysterical and not care.
Because you know guys, the only thing I truly truly want to be in this life is a person that DOES. I plan to move around the world, to not settle for ‘comfortable’ or ‘stable’. I will always remember when Mrs Wilson told me that she was unhappy in Jersey. Too small, too boring, students everywhere. And I said “then just leave”. And she smiled and said, “it’s not that easy.”
But I never said it was easy. What I’m saying is it’s worth it. You have a family and a job and- so what!? Is that what life is about? Working and reproducing and getting trapped. No way, man.
And I can tell that when I say these things I just sound like a teenager talking dreams but...I don’t care! Hehe, I don’t care. As Lyle hopes, I’m gonna write a fucking book and make a movie and transmit all these ideas into pages and scenes and characters and I’m going to see my name on a hardback front and cry.
And its going to be wonderful.
And yay I’ve had enough motivation to write over here in Spain! Sara showed me the band ‘Explosions in the Sky’, from a new genre of music called post-modern rock and oh my god. Pure inspiration. I put the music on to study and as it started my trembling fingers had to leave the faulty numbers of statistics and write The Worst of This. It was great. 8 pages so far! Haha it’s truly pathetic how slow I write. Oh well! Slow and steady wins the game. I’ve outlined some characters which I love to do. It has an odd sense of intimacy, playing god. Scratching out the hopes and flaws and history of a person only you know.
Haha, I really don’t know what I would do without being able to write!
But yes. Also! Hehe I wasn’t sure if to tell you this since it’s personal in a strange way, but I don’t think anybody reads this blog beyond those trustworthy and I think when I tell you you’re all gonna sweatdrop and think ‘that is so Marina’. But yes, What I’m gonna do next year is that every week I’m gonna collect the names of a couple of dead people. In the newspaper of from the cemetery or anything. And for each of those people I’m going to do something. Anything. Whistle a song on the street or smile at a stranger or draw a chalk drawing on a wall. Something small, as fleeting as that person was but it will be something. Something so that for that moment the person is living on, past the breathless constraints of death. :)
And I’m gonna say now that the actual idea was not mine. A fictional character did something similar in I don’t know what story and I though “That’s awesome” and since I’m a person that does then here I go! I can even write a simple blog about it! What do you guys think? Chachacha!
Heh, and one more thing, I’m gonna leave this game with you guys. Mainly it’s for Lyle cause I think he’s the only person with the possibility of liking it but I’m putting it up here in case someone else does. It’s about physics and stuff and I will declare you officially smart if you complete it alone.
Okay then. Just some music and great philosophical questions to wrap this up.
Can Zombies have fun?
Why is Guitar Hero so fucking entertaining to watch?
Can Dinosaurs sing?
Why doesn’t princess peach just get an alarm system or something?
Actually, I’m also gonna give you this. It’s my favourite anime and although I know that’s not anybody’s thing I really do recommend it. Very different from other animes and lovely in order to just calmly pass the time.

Right, I’m going to stop now.